The other day I had a guy I know ask me why, when he wanted to open a door for a girl, his friends thought he was flirting with her, when all he was doing was trying to be nice. Well, first it surprised me that this guy would open a door for a girl when I don't normally see him do such gentlemanly tasks, and secondly I wondered why his friends assumed he was flirting. I was curious about this. Now days, people assume that being gentlmanly has to mean something more than politeness and chivalry. If you are being nice to a girl, then that attomactically means you are hitting on her? Unfortunately, I guess so. So why is this? Why aren't more guys real gentlemen anymore?
Guys don't know how to BE gentlemen. No one really teaches them anymore. And frankly, I don't think most of them even think about, and if they did they probably wouldn't want to be taught. Why? Well I think guys have lowered their expectations of what girls expect from them. And isn't that true? Girls have lowered their expectations of how they want to be treated by guys. Girls "put up"with a lot less than, I believe, they should.
I also think that guys assume that being gentlemanly somehow makes them less manly, or less "macho". Well, lets take a look at what the definition of a gentleman is: A well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behavior. How about chivalry, which goes hand in hand with true gentility: The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women.
In reality, being chivalrous and gentlemanly is all about bravery and honor, which seems very "manly" to me. Of course, I think it's a two way street. Girls should act as true ladies towards guys. What is the definition of a lady? A lady is a woman who is refined, polite, and well-spoken; the object of chivalrous devotion. Some girls think that when guys are chivalrous toward them, that it is somehow degrading to women. But in reality, chivalry is just outward respect and honor for women.
Now some people might think this is all a bunch of sappy nonsense. Maybe it is. But if so, I think we all should be a little more sappy and nonsensical. You can just call me classic.
